Reaching a Moment of Consensus with Mom as Her Caregiver in Allentown, NJ: How Peace and Understanding Bridges the ‘Need’ and ‘Want’ Gap

Taking care of an elderly loved one may seem like a simple task, but depending on the relationship and the dynamics of that relationship from the beginning, it can certainly complicate matters. For example, if you are caring for your aging mother, you are essentially her caregiver, whether you realize this or not.

Many family home care providers ultimately discover that there is going to be increased tension between the elderly individual and themselves as a result of them providing some type of home care. Tension in any relationship, especially one in which two people have to work together in order to ensure safety and security of both, is going to be part and parcel of the situation. That doesn’t have to overtake the entire relationship, though.

The common dilemma.

Many family home care providers take on this role out of a sense of responsibility or duty and don’t think about the long-term effects it can have on the relationship itself. The adult child taking care of an aging parent, for example, may assume they know what is best. They might see their mother or father’s limited physical capabilities and try to prevent them from doing anything that could put themselves at risk.

This can make the elderly individual feel less independent and capable of many things that they normally could do on their own. Eventually, the elderly individual might begin to argue or be combative regarding certain aspects of the care and assistance they are receiving.

Just because the caregiver, who is a family member, may assume he or she knows what’s best or what the elderly loved one requires, that doesn’t make it so. There may be a gap between the ‘need’ and ‘want’ aspect of this care requirement.

The best way to reach a consensus and overcome these gaps is to sit down and communicate effectively with the patient. As the caregiver, it should always default to what the elderly individual wants, as they are independent individuals who only requires assistance for certain things in their life. The last thing any of us want is to treat our elderly loved ones as though they are children.

When you sit down and figure out what your elderly loved one wants, you can discuss what you think they need and ultimately reach consensus. In order to reach that consensus, it requires both people to be willing and able to listen to what the other has to say. When that happens, peace and understanding become the norm.

If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring caregiving services in Allentown NJ, or the surrounding areas. Please call Independence Home Care today at (609) 642-4085 for more information .